live wif myself

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye.
I don't want to stand with the setting sun,
And hate myself for things I have done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
I want to go out with my head erect,
But here in the struggle for fame and self
I want to be able to like myself
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I'm bluster and bluff, an empty show.
I can never hide myself from me;,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

sleepless night

it's 2.16am now...i still cant sleep, maybe due to slept too much this noon time. sigh! hot day, hot weather...i prefer the weather to be colder as like last few days..it could another reason why i cant sleep..missing someone too..
a gud fren of mine is enjoying her holiday at seabull..when getting nearer wif her eventhough she is at hometown now, i m missing her more, coz it's hard chance for us to meet with each other..ah be, can meet u soon, n i m very happy for it..
MASter degree or Acca?? i can either choose one of it, but most probably i will choose acca. but it could make me more suffering, coz acca is damn tough, i duno whether i can afford to pass all of tat 5 papers...by the way, my parent aso wont let me go to pursue master degree...coz they nvr heard of this uni, so wont be contributing 7ok for me to go there....

need peace

friends are being there for us to appreciate
but for us to ignore if u like
nothing's wrong and right
not as you think, stressly
thinking that you are always right


all i need is speaking out frankly
but not criticizing
but not bearing by one of urself

all we want is peace
all we need is peace
all we ask is peace
all we crave is peace
all we lack is peace
Peace is all we want

something we can ask
before it's blown
something we can avoid
before it's becoming worst

坏结局？？

好久没有动你了,好久没有写自己的心情,情绪在你身上

或许想说的,想表达的..实在太多了...说不完的故事...

"你你你"啊....这就是你要给我的结局吗?

没有人看戏希望看到坏结局，我也不另外

不过你还是要给我“这样”的结局？

人生就是那样，你想要得到的东西，就它偏偏不让你得到。

遇到性格如何的人，能不能接受，也是看你自己要不要去接受

有时你遇到的情形，让到你没有办法选择。。

除非你太执著，是人家拿你没办法，不是你拿人家没办法。。

不过这是你做人的定义？？有时伤害到身边的人，你知道吗？？

有时想做回自己。。不过好难噢。。明明不想做，不过最后还是做了

可能这就是我吧。。。别人不当它是一回事，我不能不当它不是一回事。

谁是完美的？？没人是完美的。。你不去接受他的那面，你要如何和他相处？

因为你的执着，闹到不愉快。。值得吗？？这就是做朋友的定义？

遗憾~~

found..........

open ur diary
sort out ur shattered mood
u dont know how
u cant remember anything
but i trust
just having mutual love leads to charms
but u get disappointed again n again
our love seems like melting ice cream
sweet?yet it doesnt glisten the same way
i will repeatedly go over things wif u daily
so we can recover tat lost love happiness
how could i forget the feeling
if i lost you?
in a sily way
still thinking that we could be together
i'd wish after the stars
if u re not by my side
even realizing my dream would have no meaning

only present all this kind of person as gift?

appreciate of what you do (optimistic)
also appreciate of what you do ( pessimistic)

making frens with each others....
understand each others more clearly....
being closer with each others...
problems happen within each others...
just end up with only greeting with each others...
only when meet up...in a coincidence way...
this is ur so called "fren"?

maybe sometimes u wan something tat u would want for..
but you cant get it...but issit u keep tolerate with others..
but do anyone tolerate with u??isst u re more soft hearted..?
even if u angry..other ppls takes it as small deal...
but this is wat only u can do by accepting this kind of treatings?

when sb needs u, u will by his/her side...
but when u need sb, u will find him/her??
sometimes u feel upset by sth,but will u say out???
throwing out all uneasy words..do ppl take it seriously??
asking u not to think so much...but please stand in this position,
then you will know how it feels...

u prefer to turn the time back to last time,
when being asked to further studies at another place..
maybe it could be a best choice...but can u go back??
but it's too late now

if u like sb, u would like do to anything jz for her,his own goods..
but by ur attitude, u think he/she can stand for how longer??
by uproar,criticism n so on...how long he/she can stand any longer??

they tell u, they are this kind of person..
so wat u do?? accepting this kind of person..
but if u tell them, u are this kind of person...
will they accept??will they tolerate?

only present all this kind of person as gift to u??

shit life

sometimes blogging depends on mood...when i hv many things to say, i can write alot..
happy birthday to small small~most eldest guy in my kl home....one year old again....haha......

enough of this kind of life...one word to describe:"sien", i wanna go shopping, go sing k,go watch movie...wateva u can let me do, but jzz nt to stay at home....onlining, facebook-ing.......at the most important thing, doing assignment...next week i 'm goin to hv one test and two presentation...next week i m goin to kill u all, most busiest week in this semester..now my heart itchy itchy, really feel like wanna go out....sigh.......gosh!!!hate this kind of life...........

weekly activities~

yesterday was yl and yk's birthday..we hv bought a 3kg shaped key cake...lol~too large til we have decided to giv some to other ppls to eat..btw, we have alots of fun last nite, went to 4 season to hv our dinner....

time runs very fast....week 7 of this sem is coming soon~dy half of this sem, after finishing one test, there's still few assignments waiting for me~but this is so called"college life" i heard from many seniors saying tat" appreciate wat u hv gone tru college life now, dun ignore ur SO called college life, after u working, then u will know wat is most hard life for u to pass.btw, only SFM making me headache, headache n still headache..its assignment is killing me...stucking half way~no way...still gonna think of "wateva" way to finish it...gambateh~

i am kinda phobia of sth...once i think it, i will feel very hateful to myself..duno why~but it will never drive me crazy~~jz a part of life...so it means not much to me~haha..

parents coming soon~yea...but H1N1 getting serious..can we jz go anywhere as we like?hmmm...hopefully..maybe dad n mum scare of it too...mum was joking n saying tat we might stay at hotel whole day...oh gosh~oh..wearing mask walking around kl? or my another idea is wat my bro always say...dun bring me to "HoLanD" lol...so sitting inside car then i will u go Holand..LOL~~

college life(nothing good)

jz feel like wanna blogging nw..and i was soundless for few weeks....i m jz hving normal life right now..go to college by 8am(almost everyday T.T, causing me to wake up at same time on weekends too...swt~~)all the assignments have reached to our hand...gonna start do it lo...stress day is yet to come,but will have to face it sooner...

After back here, the kl weathers seems like nvr change before...only "HOT" (jing jia beh tahan)...always sweat while goin to college, entering into lec hall or tutorial class is nicer..but hate coming out from it......eventhough the sun was not hot,but the air was totally affected by haze..

Last few days was a really bad day to me..i jz ate a plate of mee goreng at wangsa..after back to home,i keep rushing to toilet...if u all ask me how many times, i only can ans tat it is uncountable...then my 2 roommates accompany me go to seek doc..coz it seems like a serious problem for me..it is ridiculous..not more than 5 mins after eating a small bowl of porridge(cooked by my dear roommate), i start rushing to toilet..

"U"pls go away~~

mom is like tat,daughter is like tat too...daugther getting better..now mom's turn....one sickness hvn fully recover, another sickness comes again...n yet dad goin to transfer to kapit soon...jz nw talked a bit rudely to him...sorry...coz i keep on begging him to transfer back to sibu..he said tat it is too late..even wan to transfer back aso need to take some time, so i was a bit emotional jz nw..but i dunwan mom to be leave alone at home, who is goin to take care of her if she 's nt feeling well again....i was being asked to quit my studies last time but i refused to do so...wat can i do now??wat i can do is only asking my dad to stay...sigh~hope so~

moody again~

sch reopen day..

finally back kl...sch reopens tml lol, kinda miss tis kind of life after we all hv missed it for three months, results dy out lo~no more any complaining of it..but heard tat some of my frens cant proceed to second years...sobsob..sad of it..my partner of bullfight~hmm~lve at gk only..surely there is still alots of chance for me to find u and bullfight together...gotta miss tis fren alot....no more cold jokes anymore..sobsob..btw, a hard n tough path to go..advance second year might be very hard.....add oil la...

intention of goin back

after back to hometown, only gonna spend one week at hometown,another week will be at cat town..nt for holiday...but go to suffer??(in BAD words to say it)haih~bro told me it might be painful bit bit....lol...tat "bit bit" might mean very much to me..but i cant reject dy, good luck ba..jz like another burden to me again..last time exam , nw...... 14th 14th 14th of tis month...
now another bad new...my flight is being delayed again~delay to 7.50pm..i will be reaching home at around 10 sth or 11..sorry to soon~only can find u to yumcha nex day lo~ tata MU...tata fatty sam...see u all nex sem~

瞒准的性格？？

表面上快乐开朗，其实心里多半比较痛苦

痛苦多来自于家庭的　不合和在友情、爱情上的失意

显得很心软的话，也许是因为自己的慷慨招来些对自己的伤害

心软、善良，畏缩地给别人帮助，以致于形成小家子的假象

很少有向亲人说出心声的机会，因此，朋友在眼中更是显得尤为重要

是一个非常和平、不记仇，不会为此对你进行报复

一个伤感者的角色，爱听悲伤的音乐、喜欢广阔的东西

人情绪变化不太稳定，他们善解人意，能够短时间内进入不同的状态

人一生大都不顺心，他们生活的条件和机遇总不是和他们浓烈的人格

不太重视衣着外表，实际，认为我有内在，还怕什么外表差，不到衣服实在是不能穿时，很少去购衣
体不太好，不过消化很良好，心脏不太好

不安静的夜

薰衣草精油香味 漫游在思绪的周围
我还在回忆里徘徊 搜寻你的妩媚
笔跟纸甜蜜亲嘴 它们忘情的搞暧昧
你的名字写一万遍 祝福要怎么写
你带走整个世界 只留下这黑夜
冷了要拥抱谁 眼前只剩一条棉被
爱情岌岌可危 所有付出灰飞烟灭
谁都别来安慰 我不想承认我有流泪
爱到鞠躬尽瘁 这条路走得很疲惫
想要赶过伤悲 自己却在终点前崩溃
记事本往事一堆 掺杂我多少的憔悴
最后空白无言以对 形容孤独滋味
你带走整个世界 只留下这黑夜
冷了要拥抱谁 眼前只剩一条棉被
爱情岌岌可危 所有付出灰飞烟灭
谁都别来安慰 我不想承认我有流泪
爱到鞠躬尽瘁 这条路走得很疲惫
想要赶过伤悲 自己却在终点前崩溃
爱情岌岌可危 所有付出灰飞烟灭
谁都别来安慰 我不想承认我有流泪
爱到鞠躬尽瘁 这条路走得很疲惫
想要赶过伤悲 自己却在终点前崩溃

sibu, i m back soon~

mom is always a powerful girl in front of me..once u dun agree wat she wan u to do, sure there will be sth bad happen again~but tis time i got no reason to reject, actually i never think of goin back to hometown on may, but a calling from mom n said: " i dy booked flight ticket for u...on 7th of may, then back on 24th of may..LOL~~wat m i gonna say again?i jz say oh~ok lo...once i hear it, dono whether i shud be happy or nt..happy coz i no need stay at kl and yet all my housemates wont be around on tat period, unhappy coz i m goin to meet someone very vital to me..haha~my dear...my honey..my beloved uncle..T.T~~good luck ba~~

23 apr

2 more to go...everything goes well tis time..
sigh sigh, my laptop hvn reach, i m thinking of goin back to hometown..but i might join the langkawi trip wif my frens and housemates, n yet cant estimate when do tat god damn dell company send my laptop to my kl home..shit~ ntg can i do at all. kl weather hot like shit...living at dessert?? no raining for few days dy...til gonna take bath at night time coz too hot til "SWEAT"???
wat to do if nt goin back to hometown??go here to lepak a while..then go there to lepak a while..lol..go to travel around west malaysia?? considering~~
there is something tat i cant change...hv became a fate for me..tml will be better??or WORSE? i dono..no one noe, only god know..so jz live happily ba~

feelingless

how can one explain tis?
how can one show the feeling
that re no longer anymore?
how is the feelingless ruptures?
sometimes,
there shud be some emotion coming
tat made u go numb
used to be passionate
with everything tat would come
it hurts when see u
it wont hurts when din see u
it was used to be like tat last time
but as feelingless as wat i hv nw
feelingless..feelingless......

exam exam exam

geo asked me whether do my emotion n mind was still being bothered recently..my ans is i m only hv time n right to think of my exam stuffs..parents keep calling everyday,asking me wat m i doin..got do my revision or nt..i know they re worrying, n yet i still dare to fool around, dont wanna do my revision, still thinking of other stupid matters? i dunwan to let them worry, so gonna try my best to handle exam tis time..

09 apr

FInally booked my laptop..haha, yahoor~~ straightly send to my home nex week..m waiting for it ..hmm, leave few more weeks..nothing has made me stressed except exam..deserve for it..btw, thinking of whether goin back to hometown on may or nt. it might be less than 2 weeks, gosh..sitting at kl home aso nothing to do, goin back hometown aso ntg to do..dad n mom asked me to decide myself..

2 april

Standing alone under sunshine
seeing smiley face all around
supposing to be one of them
do you ever think of it?
do you every try of it?
listening to every single word
all advices have came
do you ever listen to it?
decision is under your control
do you ever control it?
or you was been controlled?
jumping out from hole
everything will be more clearly
everything will be more smooth
everything will be fine
you are supposed to be ONE of them

moonlight~

since was young,mom sang a song
acc me thru the spri,sum,aut and win
a light guided tru the long distant nite
goin to move forward
after growing up, seeing ppls around
remains silently
put their heart locked
fortunely, with your warmth song
together with me
wont ever forget the intention
gradually ends at both
m nt alone in dropping tears
thru the unfamiliar streets
like the same moon
evaporation of tears
"love" let ppl can resist the pain
like the same moon
placed at my heart
"love" let u acc me
so i will have direction
happiness, sadness
will ever let me realize
how to grow up~

人生就是这样

什么是人?人是一个天使，把快乐和幸福带给每个人。。人是一个魔鬼，让身边的人痛苦， 人是一个大钟摆，左右摇晃，不知所措。。。。。。。。。。。人生就是场一次又一次得到又失去的轮回。妈妈生一个人一生的过程，而一个人真的想读懂人生，就要看一个人的经历，有什么样的经历的人就会对人生有不同的看法，这会受一个人的世界观人生观的影响，但真的问人生是什么样的时候。。一个人满脑子都会是无奈，所以人生也就象一场游戏，不要去问游戏是什么样的，只要好好的去玩就行了。。遇到没你玩得的游戏，就有的让你好受了。。人生就是人活着，活着就要承担各种各样的事情。。人生就是被骗和骗人的过程。。人生就是：爱过，恨过，分过， 甜过，苦过，成功过，失败过，，总之，人生就是一个人从出生到老去的过程中所经历的种种历经。。看你要如何去对待。。人生就是让你突然而然有病就有病。。没让你夺走自己的性命，不过要你挣扎下去，这就是你赐给我的礼物吗?

need a break

my Mood?? fine~~
my Health?? getting worse~ starting from tat day, i almost need it everyday??why??pressure?but i dun think i hv so much pressure..i cant think of any reason why i need it everyday...jz it come in a sudden..occured seriously once at sam house...then at office...at home jz nw too...hope nex tue faster come..i really need a break...staying at hometown is a non-pressure place for me..but i think i only will back on sept lo~~miss dad n mum...sobsob...mum goin to stay alone from monday til thursday starting from june or july??hope u will get used to it....

23 mar

happy birthday to dad ...and ah don~~2 D....lol :p , m gonna quit my job soon..lol~but gonna prepare for exam soon...seems like everyone goin back..leave me alone at kl here??duno..duno whether they back together or not..coz gonna back for ching ming..it's impossible for me to go back la..haha

my personality?haha

你念念不忘的人 - 你小时候的玩伴,你是一个有感情洁癖但是又很害怕孤独的人,你经常会因为周围的一些小事情而感到失望 ,最害怕的就是自己的热情去贴了别人的冷漠。所以对于你来说,小时候玩伴那种毫无心迹的坦白的友情是最珍贵的。你是一个很珍惜身边的人的人,但是也要懂得选择值得信任的人才对啊

性格解構：這類型的女子通常都較為溫和穩重，腳踏實地。由於冷靜謹慎，所以更細微的環節她都能夠兼顧得到。誠實認真，責任心強，\r處理事情極有條理，自然容易贏得別人信任。耐力韌性也一樣驚人，富有戰勝重重困難的莫大力量。無疑的她不論對待任何人，都能夠表現得親切大方，但偶然間的太過自我中心，會令她無法與其他人協調。其實，她輕易受到別人的影響本來是個優點，但過分堅持自己的一套做法，就會變得固執。建議：想吸引她注意，你適宜穿得穩重，襯衫西褲最穩當。由於她對任何細微的環節都察覺得到，所以，你對她亦要處處表現出特別細心，向她坦誠，就肯定會贏得信任。

你对异性的警戒心满强的唷，或者说你慎选你的异性朋友，所以你的精神状态会有些紧绷。与异性的相处，精神的交流远重於一切，你在恋爱方面追求的是柏拉图式恋情。虽然不能说你不好，但交朋友有时也不必这麽严肃嘛!换个角度看异性，你也可以与他们轻松相处。

being defeated...

the most results i hv get.....was being defeated this time, jz now father calling n asking, almost crying while talking with him..but he said tat it is dy a fact..so gonna face it, n i only will work til end of this month..luckily my boss let me go..sigh...accounting frens....almost all of them at least failed one sub...duno why..i hv failed my most favourite sub...why why why?but i knew tat i hv nt done well in it..but nt serious til fail..i was almost unconfidence inside exam hall for every subs last time....sorry for letting my parent down...they thought i was joking jz nw..but they din scold me at all..but i hope they did it jz nw..mum asked me to stop working too, last time they put so much pressure on me, put high expectation on me..i was afraid of calling them after checking my results..yet i noe they will call me..but jz waiting for their calls..if last time, surely my mum will scold me,but she did nt scold me this time...god bless me

14 mar

stamina weaks...playing badminton wif jia jz nw, only played a while jz then tired dy...no more energy, this is the consequence of seldom exerise..haha...called my dad jz nw, asking for goin to travel after working...he said need to consider 1st...really hope tat he will let me go play before my new sem starts..let me go to my bro there aso can..jz wan a break....sorry if let u all down sometimes...but i aso duno wat to do..a fren asked me:" do u really hv to choose a struggling way to live ur life now? everything actually is under ur control.." my ans is i wont want my life to be like tat, jz my heart never think,never do as wat my mouth always say out..hope after passing day by day,week by week will be better..

careless whisper

Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind,
ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find

Should've known better

I feel so unsure
as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
as the music dies, something in your eyes
calls to mind the silver screen
and all its sad good-byes

I'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool

Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say
We could have been so good together

如果

如果有这样的结果，我不会要认识你
如果有这样的结果，我不会要喜欢上你
如果有这样的结果，我应该当时就跟你讲清楚
如果有这样的结果，我不会要你现在还在等
如果有这样的结果，我应该听父母的话去外国读书
如果有这样的结果，我不会让你做出那样的事
如果有这样的结果，我不会要自己心软
如果有这样的结果，我不会要自己再掉眼泪
如果有这样的结果，我不会去喝咖啡

如果有这样的结果， 如果知道如果就不会发生不愉快的事。。以上所写得关连很多事

06 mar

today do filing...whole day still doin filing..finally stop at 5 sth...went to ate mcd together wif colleagues, hving alots of fun, but mum keep calling in afternoon time,not only her..a fren keep calling too. then i throw my hp inside my bag,sorry for saying tat i m nt able to pick up any calls tat moment..after back, go walk walk a while at klcc..then mum called me and nagged again...sorry for being tat rude to u...

getting better??

a fren calls and sms me everyday...asking tat whether m i feeling more better after passing day by day....i tell him:" yes~but u cant expect me to be fully recovered..time is a cure~~"he said tat he totally agreed wif me..thankz for helping me..i appreciate for ur helping..but sorry to say tat my ans is still no...u request me to do so in order to help myself faster..but tat is wat i hv to do myself n without another person..

wat a unlucky day

this few days re unlucky day..yesterday lrt broke down ,then duno which place get flooded...lrt can move...cars on the road aso cant move...so sam,ster n i went to eat kfc, then walked to pav to wait for don...around 10.30 pm only reach home..tired...today got a call from mum..keep...complain and complain...dad's goin to transfer to kapit soon...so gonna leave my mum alone at home from monday to thursday??sigh..three children dy outside, nt by ur side..now still wanna separate mum and dad...she was saying til almost crying..coincidencely, i was stressed with my works..so mood kinda bad this evening time..hope tml will be better....

working day

today is second day of working..so far so good..jz need to wake up early then gonna get ready to be squeezed like "sardin" inside lrt..then when back home, i hv to face same situation..haiz...my bro asked me to reach lrt within 6 to 6.15pm..coz it might not be tat crowded, so i try to do as wat he told me..but it was still a bit crowded, lol~~
i cant live without u...u noe??really cant live without u....uuuuuuuuu..."YOU", sure everyone will ask whether m i falling in love wif someone..my answer for cant living with you is not a person...but is a medicine...my heart was pained again inside my office jz now, my colleagues was shocked.....luckily i did brought my medicine,or else many ppls will kill me..my beloved uncle(Dr) told me tat must always bring it whereever i go...like a "FU"

changing

Its getting pretty good lately…. yeah, maybe it is really good,maybe it is nt really good……. i don know whether it’s really what i am looking for but the more i feel that that is my vision, the more i think that i am no longer the girl i am……
If i dont grow up and become mature nw…. i know that in future it will be harder 4 me………. but if i do,….. i m sure going to hate 4 the new me…….or maybe i dy hv become mature without my notice and i hv already used to it but i just donwan to accept it……. many of my friends say that i am mature, plan ahead..yeah, looking at this sound pretty good
i just want to be a simple me………. becus as u started to notice tat urself is growing up, you will started to notice that u will lose the old u….. lose the good times when u donhv to think so much ahead, lose the good times when all u hv to do is eat and sleep and that’s it, lose the good times when u and a bunch of frens laughing at urselves doing silly stuff……….
yeah, i also have argued be4 tat all of this will not change because i will try to keep it… really? when u started to use ur mind to think future, u should notice that u re changing…..

12/2/09

last night went into my" favourite" consultation room,meeting my beloved uncle(Dr), dad and mum still can talk wif him for half an hour...then how bout me?suffering inside..sigh~i love to come back to hometown, coz of my relaxing time and do wateva i wan..but nt goin to tat place for checking up....i did it for many times before, n there is no way for me to escape after coming back here..last nite spend few hundred for buying my medicine..worse than those old ppls...i asked my bro a que yesterday:" am i troublesome?"then he told me not to worry bout this..n yet i m still tat young, so must cure it now...
u noe wat kind of person i am,something really cant be forced...u said tat u can do anything as long as i go out on tat day, no matter how hard u re trying to do to get my attention, i only can tell u tat it is useless.

眼淚笑了

Imagine a painness but you did not look back
my tears re being controlled and nt allowed to drop

Memories do not go with u but crowded in my heart
I hv the responsibility to make it deserve 2 be treasured

thankz for letting me down be4
thankz to myself for not thinking too much

my tears hv laughed, who would to be like me?
standing still bravely, searching for light and heat
facing of u hv made me so missing u
becus u are once a guest of mine

is beautiful and perfect
singing a song
when thinking of u
i m nt humble instead
i hv no regrets becus i hv loved u
once, and very deeply

11/2/09

back to hometown lo....ah be...missing u,wish u hv a good journey to melbourne..keep in touch yeah, dun tell me tat u re guilty coz of the presenti only can meet u nex year, so must take good care of urself..remember to buy a webcam yeah, haha..remember our promises..
coming back for 2 weeks, then goin back to work soon lo...

listener rather than speaker

if i care for everything, i will be very tiring and annoying..now, i prefer to be a listener more than a speaker...i m nt goin to giv any comments...since very very long time ago, i have been bothered by ur problems...i doesnt mean tat i dunwan to care for u anymore...jz i hav did my part,n yet u dunwan to listen to me, i really duno wat else can i do. i was once scolded by u becos of him before, but i still treat u as my fren. if u did tat to me last time, i am sure tat i will scold and shoot u back, wont even care bout u coz my patience degree wasnt tat good last time and i m no longer tat "jenny"(who was childish,small gas and impatience girl last time and maybe i gonna thankz someone who has made me changed)...u was cried n talked wif me in phone before,then i advice u..u will listen at first,but i think u forget aftertat....i m tiring of u guys' problem..summore involve me in...quarreling becoz of me??it is nt worthwhile to do tat coz of me..if i m tat "BA GUA", i m goin to tell everyone i noe in this world i really dunlike him..so wat hv u scare of??scare tat i will be together wif him one day?u noe i wont..so wat for u keep mentioning about me in front of him?and he keep do sth tat spoils our friendship....i really dun understand....i has once told u tat , u still hv ur good future...something worth living for, someone worth living for, nt worth living for rubbish ppl, nt worth living for rubbish conflicts, childish conflicts....then u will hv a better life...thankz godness if ur parent let u further ur studies at kl last time, so u wont hav to face this kind of problems....please...wake up for urself..nt for others...

speechless~

since last year til now, wateva conflicts u guys hv, u will tell me, then i will advice u...but this time i m goin to tell u, tat i am speechless...i hope tat i can help, but i m nt able to help u..why u so careless?why u duno how to protect urself??i really feel hopeless towards both of u..i really wish u can learn from ur mistakes and grow up...i hv told u everything tat i supposed to say, but it seems like u never listen, i cant always take care of u, u must noe how to handle ur problem, u are dy goinna be 21 soon..u noe urself cant drink tat much, then why do u still drink so much???if u re at kl here, u will be worsen than wat had happened in sibu..n yet tat person is him again..he said tat he will be responsible for it..i hope he will do it...

be tough

noe u re hiding ur feeling...sometimes i face this kind of problem too..it is nt easy to say forget then forget..but u cant cry, cant be tat weak, mus noe how to protect urself..tat's wat my fren tell me..appreciate everyone beside u, but nt the one who u mention..nt worthwhile for u to do so...i do believe u need time to cure urself.be tough

LAST PAPER~

yeah...today i m goin to hv last paper soon~~now is 7.22 am, my exam will be starting at 9 til 12..after 12pm, all gonna be over...so exciting for it..after exam, we re goin to "lepak"..after studying and burning midnite oil for so long time, we shud relax and go shopping~go sing k..do wateva we wan..my dear roommates, ur panda eyes will be recovering soon, no worries...
wat shud i say bout it??i m better..so u dun worry, geo...thankz for giving me advices..mybe it's jz a crush, but i m better after listening to all this "powerful" advices..thankz to those who hv helping me this few days..jia , geo and ahbe...luckily i still can handle my tax and pm...if nt, really gonna stay back to resit nex sem..good luck to everyone in exam la..

defeated

being defeated..i duno whether i still can handle the following 3 subs...lost confidence..frustrating...stressful...i did nt do well in my first paper this morning, this paper is my favourite sub..i duno wat hv i wrote this morning..my mind was totally blanked jz nw, n yet i giv away 10 marks.i cant even remember a basic formula..really gonna slap myself.. Thinking back when i was still living inside hostel, a fren asked me:" when can i get the jenny who i hv known back?" i only tell her to wait...

sickness + exam

sometimes i think negatively....exam period is always like a suffering day for me...yet plus my sickness...really damn freaking tiring of it...nowadays, i can afford to sleep for 5 or 6 hours per day..still i hv to suffer from heart pains everynite..like a old ppl, i cant live without medicine....a person has once requested me to quit my studies,then go back to hometown..i hv walking forward for my career in half way, so i cant let it go..i dunhv tat ability to do so...
everyday i go to lib....til noon time..then go back to continue studying again..repeat and repeat doin the same thing everyday..after exam, i shud be happy..coz cny is coming soon..but i dunhv tat kind of exciting feeling at all..coz i m goin back on 7 of feb...i only can spend my cny time together wif my bros..but nt my parent..this is the first time i m goin to celebrate cny at kl...but nt at grandma house..kinda sad bout it...after finishing exam, i can still directly go back to hometown, but i cant leave my 2 bros here alone..so there's no choice for me....

火柴天堂

walking in the cold and snow of the night time
with a matches warming my dream and heart
walking step by step wif lonely feeling

a pack of matches burning my heart
cant stop myself from walking forward
wind thorn cut my face , dragging my feet
how long still i can stay any longer

who will buy my matches
who will be a hope that lighten my matches
who will be the 1 who buys my loneliness
who will be the 1 who cures my sadness

each time lighten my matches
cant stop myself from seeing mother's word for me
saying that u hv to be brave,
saying that u hv to be strong nt to be afraid
saying that u hv to stray from this

mother's holding ur hand
walking back to home
sleeping in the warmth of paradise